I Do This for a Living
A show that asks how we can give as much time and energy to the things that matter as we do to the things that pay. I Do This for a Living is hosted by Serenity Bohon - sarcoma survivor, writer, and day jobbist, forever starstruck by anyone who finds meaning at work and in life.
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I Do This for a Living
No One Can Fill Your Shoes with Kiyoko Hairston
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Serenity welcomes Kiyoko Hairston, author of the children's book Freeda's Fabnificent Feet. As a young adult, Kiyoko earned her SAG card for delivering a line in a movie with Jeff Bridges and Barbara Streisand. While her acting career continued for a time, today Kiyoko is confident in her identity as a storyteller. Her new children's book empowers readers to see their perceived weaknesses as superpowers. Kiyoko's personal story is about figuring out what fills your heart and staying in alignment with what you know you're meant to do until the perfect timing brings it all together.
Chapters
2:20 Who is Kiyoko Hairston
8:56 Work keeps us apart
11:36 Actress Dreams + Reality
31:00 I am a Storyteller
35:44 Freeda’s Fabnificent Feet
56:17 The Perfect Time is Now
1:17:59 What Fills Your heart
1:21:56 It worked for me
Links
FreedasFabnificentFeet.com
Kiyoko on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freedasfreedom2025/
I Do This For a Living is independently produced.
Welcome to I Do This For a Living, a show that asks how we can spend as much time and energy on the things that matter as we do on the things that pay. Sometimes the things that matter pay, and we'll talk about that too. I'm your host, Serenity Bohan. Today's guest is Kyoko Hairston. She's a creative storyteller, a voice artist, and an actress. And she has a new children's book in the world, which is how she found me. She's doing her worldwide tour to promote the book. And you know how we do things around here. We're gonna talk to her about more than that. We're going to hear about her early understanding of work and who she is when she's not being a children's book author and how she got where she is, and you know, all her thoughts and feelings about the whole I do this for a living thing. So I can't wait to get into that. Also, another plea to please, if you're at all interested in being on this show, go to Sornettibohan.com slash guest. Today's episode is sponsored by H34Contracting.com, delivering exceptional quality and craftsmanship in and near Casper, Wyoming, specializing in residential remodels. If you talk to Jason, the owner, tell him I sent you, I do this for a living, is where you heard about him. All right. Let's get to it. Well, hello, Kyoko Harrison. Welcome to my show.
unknownHi.
SPEAKER_04It is such an honor to have you.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_04Thank you so much for being here. I can't wait for my audience to meet you. I've chatted with you just a little bit here, and I'm already a huge fan. Oh. Aww. So let me tell you about this show just a little bit. The title, I do this for a living, is a little bit tongue-in-cheek. We talk about that, but I mostly want to hear from people what makes them feel alive. That's kind of what the title really means. Ooh, I like that. That's kind of the vibe. So we have somewhere we're going with you. We want to talk about the very latest thing you are doing for a living. I want to get there. I want to talk about all of that fabnificentness. But can we build up to it a little? Sure. Okay. So if you had to tell us who you are outside of the author thing, what would you tell us? Who is Kyoko Hairston?
SPEAKER_00Ooh. Ooh, so deep already. Who am I? Um, okay. Well, I am a little girl in a woman's body. With with big feet.
SPEAKER_04Oh, big feet girls unite. That is one thing that drew me to you. I can't wait to talk about that.
SPEAKER_00Oh boy. Okay, okay. So I'll say I'll save my questions for you then. Um, I was uh born in Baton Ridge, Louisiana, raised in Alabama, and um I've gotten a little more serious as my responsibilities had increased, but you know, Bills. No serious. They kind of they they've kind of tightened me up just as smidge. You probably can't tell, but um, I think people who went to school with me will say, yeah, she's she was definitely a very silly little girl, but I always had, you know, like a big vision for myself. Um I believe not just in myself, but other people. I like to motivate people, um, and I like to feel purposeful.
SPEAKER_04That's beautiful. I love it. And don't you um I I I say I take myself too seriously. That's what I but I try to say that as lightly as possible. So it's like I do take myself too seriously, but I think knowing that sort of shows my lighthearted side.
SPEAKER_00Right. Right. I mean, when I first heard your voice, I was like, okay, I see why they named her Serenity. Oh. Which came first, though? The chicken or the egg?
SPEAKER_04Did you try to lean into the meaning of your name came first because I am the girl who my mother would have to say when we went shopping in glass stores with glass things, Serenity, do you know where your arms and legs are at all times? She would have to tell me that because I was like, all through life. Not serenity. Okay. So I yeah, I have had to lean into it. It's yeah, the calm, the calm aspect is something I had to practice. I'm emotional, I'm dramatic.
SPEAKER_00Me too. Me too. My name actually means a lot of things in Japanese, depending on which Japanese characters you use. So it can mean blue water child, transparent child, pure innocent child. Um, but I think um transparent child is probably the thing. Um because I definitely tend to want to be known. I want to be understood. And so I've spent a lot of time going out of my way to explain to people who I am because I'm always concerned about being misunderstood. I'm trying to let go of that a little bit because sometimes it's not safe emotionally, depending on who you're dealing with.
SPEAKER_04It's not safe to try to be seen.
SPEAKER_00To try to be to be transparent so much.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_00With the wrong people.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I have to be taught that as well, because I I'm a classic oversharer. I want to process everything with everyone. So I'm with you. I I totally feel that. When you said you said blue water child was one, because I've I saw Serenity described once as um calm waters. I loved that.
SPEAKER_05That makes sense.
SPEAKER_04So we kind of have a similar name, really.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay, so you kind of you kind of told me this, but what what like since we don't know you, what would your friends and fam know about you that my audience would not that you're willing to share? Like everyone kind of knows, oh, that's so Kyoko.
SPEAKER_00Um I wanna sort of like something good or something bad.
SPEAKER_04Um, which one do you want to share with us?
SPEAKER_00Um, well, I guess if I were in a job interview, I could, you know how you can like turn your weakness into a so I guess um sometimes I care too much.
SPEAKER_05About everything?
SPEAKER_00No. Like, say for instance, if you and I were like just longtime acquaintances, right? And I knew you were involved in something that was not the best thing for you, and I told you, and you didn't listen to me, I might try too many times to help you understand why that's not the best thing for you, to the point where I might get on your nerves and you might not call me for a while.
SPEAKER_04Okay, that's the best answer ever. You just gave us your character flaw. Every heroine has to have a character flaw. So you're setting up your story very well to lead with that. Also, I have your phone number now, so you may just become that long-term acquaintance who gets in my chili, which I'm okay with. I could probably use that. I could probably use that.
SPEAKER_00I'm trying to stop though. I'm trying to stop, you know, but it's uh anyways.
SPEAKER_04How do you care less? Um You just stop sooner. You stop bugging them about it sooner.
SPEAKER_00Yes. You know, like do what you want to do, okay? Don't save her. She don't want to be safe. You know that song.
SPEAKER_04Just let them, Mel Robbins would say. Let them. Yes. Let them.
SPEAKER_00Just let them let her. So that's that's the thing. It's like I have to let them. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay, take we're gonna tell everybody what the big feet thing means eventually, but I'm gonna say take take us back to little big feet Kyoko, your early years, your childhood. What is your early understanding of work? What it is, whether or not you were gonna have to do it.
SPEAKER_00Uh, okay. So my early understanding of work. When you when when uh I knew my mother went to work, and me and my dad went to work, and I knew that it kept us apart a lot. Like I was with the babysitter a lot. Um, and I didn't like that. And my mother said, well, she had to work otherwise, I mean, because she used to work the night shift. So I spent for a good portion of my childhood five days of the week with my babysitter.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_00And I felt kind of, even though she was very nice and her family was very nice, I mean, lovely family. Um, I had a conversation with her in the last couple of years. She felt so bad. I was like, I felt kind of isolated. I wanted to be with my family. Um, and my mother, I felt sometimes resentful. Um, but she would say, well, if I didn't work like that, we would have had to stay in a different neighborhood and so on and so forth. So that was one association with work. And then a better memory was um my grandfather, I used to spend summers in Baton Rouge, and he had a garden in my aunt's backyard because they live right next door to each other. And he would give me and one of my cousins um some vegetables from his garden, and then we would sit on the side of the road, like there's a sidewalk and then the front yard, and we would sit there with a little table with his vegetables, put up a little sign, and as the cars passed by, we would sell his vegetables and stuff. And um, we got such a kick out of that. We were earning money and you know, that kind of thing. So um I think he definitely helped me out with the entrepreneurial spirit.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I love that so much. The the part it kept us apart, I just feel that so deep. I um I heard I had a friend write on my blog once that to her, the work day, the school day was everybody spreading out and going uh elsewhere. And it was so great at the end of the day when we all came back where we belonged together. You know, I just I felt that I feel that deep. So that's a great answer to that question. Um, what is your earliest memory of having an answer to the question, what do you want to be when you grow up?
SPEAKER_00I mean, I would say pretty much ever since I could remember, I felt like I was supposed to I wanted to be an actress. Um yeah, yeah, and I don't know how I can't as far as back as I can remember, that's what I wanted to be. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay, we have to talk about this for a hot second because me too. What kind of actress did you want to be? Was there a particular actress you looked up to that's the one? Or was it always, I want to be what I want to, who I am?
SPEAKER_00No, um, one good thing about me is that I never had I had a healthy dose of confidence. And so there was just no me. So I just needed to show up somewhere and let everybody know that I was me. I didn't have any sort of actresses that I necessarily looked up to. Um, I just I really just wanted to be in entertainment, to be honest with you. I didn't know the difference between radio or TV or film. Um I w I just all of it was of interest to me. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay. See, that's that's me as I grew up a bit. I knew when I was young, it was a movie actress. I wanted to be a movie actress. I did kind of dabble in theater, the idea of theater too. Did some church plays and stuff and and got good, you know, accolades from the church ladies. They said, they said it seemed like I was really crying, Kyoko, and I was not. So I definitely thought theater too. But as I've gotten older, it's just what you said. It's more, I just, I just want to be in entertainment. That's really what it was, and I don't know if I cared what it was like. So I hope we get to watch this evolution as I keep asking these questions. I think what I really want to know is ever since you remembered that's what you wanted, did it happen? It did, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, um, on various levels. I mean, I thought I was probably gonna do things on a probably a much grander scale, but But you still can. I I did accomplish quite a bit though, um, more than nothing. Um I um I became SAG. Um my first um sometimes I minimize things, and so I'm trying to decide, you know, like do I want to minimize things or do I want to blow them out of proportion? There's no middle. It's minimize or so my first few lines on screen, how about I'll just be precise, was in a movie with Barbara Streisand.
SPEAKER_04Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00And um, I was actually working as a production assistant. And um, but my goal was that I was trying to just creep around set and get discovered. And I did not have a car. Wait a minute, you didn't ask me all this. I'm sorry. I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_04Yes, I did. If you do, if you stop this story, we're we're just shutting it down right now. People at home who know me know that my eyes are like this big with stars in them right now.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Please. So I was so picturing Sicily 1922. No, just kidding. Um, I was in New York, and um, it was Harlem at this armory and also Columbus Circle in Manhattan, um, because there was like a stage, and we were shooting, there was a movie called The Mirror Has Two Faces with Jeff Bridges.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I think I've heard of it, perhaps. Okay.
SPEAKER_00So, so um, so I had been doing a lot of internships. I interned with Sesame Street, I interned with the Montel Williams show. So I was doing like two internships that summer, and I went around saying hi to everybody, and I met this guy, and I was like, hey, you know, he said I don't eat enough. And then one day I brought him some chicken and something. And the next thing I know, all of this leads to me getting offered a job as a PA. But they said, you have to have a car. So I was like, oh no, oh, well, I don't like the line, um, but when I do, I try to make it really like a really important lie. So I had a car. And so oh yes, I have a car. So what I did was um I didn't tell anybody that I didn't have a car, and I just took cabs everywhere. Um and so, like if they had me to run errands, like to the hardware store or to the production office to pick up crates of sodas or whatever, I would let get out of the cab two blocks away, and then I would um unload, run, get a dolly, run back, put the crank, the sodas on the crates, roll it back to the armory, and I would just do that and still whenever. Um, but I'm not the worst networker in the world. So one thing led to another, and this producer was saying they needed um extras on the set. And then I I was like, can I get SAB waivers so I can join the union? And he said yes. So then once I got on the set and Barbara Streisand was there, they started having us to improv and stuff. And so Jeff Bridges was supposed to be a really boring professor. So she goes, you know, um, pretend like he's so boring or whatever. So then I just started kind of like nodding off and stuff and just acting like I just couldn't take it. My elbow was like falling off the desk and stuff. And then someone would come over and go, um, don't do that anymore. Barbara wants to do that. I'm not lying. And Barbara, if you see this, listen, you're Barbara Streisand, no one could ever take that away from you, but you know this is what happens. Wow.
SPEAKER_04You gave Barbara Streisand acting lessons.
SPEAKER_00Well, not lessons. No, that's not that half part, but I gave her some little gems that you know she wanted to keep for herself.
SPEAKER_04Um, and so So if we watch that movie, we'll see her do that.
SPEAKER_00Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And so a few situations happen like that where it was like, don't do that, cuz Barbara, don't do that, because Barbara. So I was like, I wasn't angry at all. I was like, okay. So I just found something else to do. And so at a particular point, they, you know, I I made a joke, everyone laughs, and then the next thing I know, um, Barbara calls my name. She goes, Kyoko, say this for me. Um, I have a question. Does a rising fastball really rise? And then I said it back, and then we shot it like right then, and it was like the whole set was like, wow. Oh my gosh. It was a big deal. It was like it's big. Because in those moments, nobody knows, like, are you about to suddenly rise to fame or whatever? Um, but I no longer needed those sag waivers because I had a speaking part, and that automatically um allows you to join a wave. Uh join the the union. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Let's talk to the people who are not as star-struck by Hollywood and acting as me. SAG is Screen Actors Guild, it's basically the union for actors. And if you have any speaking line, you're automatically uh eligible. Eligible. So what you were first, you didn't think you were gonna get to speak when you were an extra, but they were still gonna give you a waiver to get to join SAG just.
SPEAKER_00Three waivers. You needed three at the time. I don't know what it is now. So I was gonna get three waivers because it was three days on set. So I was actually getting two paychecks. I was getting the paycheck for a production assistant, and then I was also getting a paycheck for the extra plus my three waivers. So I was, and by that time, I had already made enough money to buy a car, a little Toyota Camry. So I was already doing big things in my mind.
SPEAKER_04You were doing big things. Are you credited in the movie?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04In the credits, in the end credits, I'm a big in-credits watcher.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you'll see me. I they kept it, and um I'm still in the credits, and but that's how that happened. So yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay. What okay, before we keep going, I want to keep going down that path. But you knew you wanted to be an actor. You obviously pursued that to the nth. But did anyone ever tell you something you should be? Tell you what you should be that was different than that dream.
SPEAKER_00Um, well, some people used to think that um I should pee people say I have a distinctive voice. Um, so they always wanted to know if I could sing, which I cannot.
SPEAKER_04Wait, not even a lick, like you don't think you could be trained?
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, I took singing lessons and the more I practiced, the better it got. Okay. But I I um just didn't keep going. And and when I stopped, then you could never hear the potential. Although I have shopped somewhat like out of nowhere, uh I have done a little something and they were convinced I couldn't. Sing, but then when I did that one little hat, that one little moment, they were like, wait a second, but don't ask me to do that right now, because it won't happen, I'm sure of it.
SPEAKER_04Okay, if you if you insist, I will not, but I'm picturing right now, I'm picturing you like that that reel where people say, Oh no, no, I couldn't, and then they go into that Mariah Carey.
SPEAKER_05Uh totally, exactly. So if you if you feel like breaking No, sorry, sorry. We're gonna get you we're gonna get you a singing job out of this podcast right here.
SPEAKER_04I always I always had vocal coaches tell me that singing high, you have to picture your the vocal range like a keyboard, so you really go you're really reaching sideways to sing high. I can't I can't feel it that way.
SPEAKER_01I'm always maybe maybe that's what I've been doing wrong.
SPEAKER_04Well, yeah, don't take lessons from me on singing high, I tell you that. I'm a happy little alto.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I think I think me too. I think I forgot what they told me I was, but just give me the harmony, people.
SPEAKER_04Just give me the split.
SPEAKER_00Now now I can blend in with am I allowed to take a sip of my tea?
SPEAKER_04Yep, I'll do I'll do it too.
SPEAKER_00Wait, wait, wait. This poor abused Chick-fil-A cup. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay, so you get your SAG card. Does that last forever, by the way?
SPEAKER_00As long as you pay your dues or go inactive or something, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay. What other kind so what happened from there? Did you stay on the acting path? Did you do other kinds of things for a living, other jobs?
SPEAKER_00Well, eventually I learned that even though I did have some things in my favor, I still needed to learn how to act. I mean, I obviously had something going for myself, but I needed some skills to go with it. It took me a long time to come to that revelation because maybe I was just like so full of myself or something. And I had no one, I had no mentors or anything to really get through to me. And even my first acting teacher tried to tell us, but I think for a long time it just went in one ear and out of the other. Um, I think it was because sometimes in my scene study classes, um, those are classes where you study acting scenes. Um, not to you, but since you were breaking things down to the audience earlier, um I would what you might call play at acting. And a lot of the times the fellow students would just be cracking up at whatever I was doing. But the teacher told them that she's playing at it, and there's a place for her and a place for what she's doing. And but at the same time, like there was more in there that I needed to. She didn't say this, I'm saying this. So eventually, after some time, I started to take it more seriously. And then um I I began to see that this is really something that I have the propensity to do. Um, yeah, so I'll stop there so I don't talk too much and give you a chance to ask me something else.
SPEAKER_04I could probably just let you go. Okay, I have a similar, not a similar experience really, because I've stayed in the middle of Missouri my whole life. So there was no way I was really ever going probably to be an actress. I just dreamed of it in my head. And I told a friend that once. I'm looking, I'm I'm shouting out to you, Jeff Tashhura. And uh I said, I kind of really wanted to be an actress when I was younger. I always wanted to go to Hollywood and be an actress. He said, Can you act? Just real matter of fact like that. And I'd never had anyone, first of all, take the dream seriously seriously enough to actually ask me, can you act? But um, it made me pause. I'm like, I have to think about that. I have no idea if I can. I mean, I know that I did it in those kid plays or whatever, but I I totally understand what you're saying. I was the same. I just I just thought, if I just try, if I just go, I can do it. And you don't think about how much work it takes. And there's another thing I'm wondering. I heard Oprah I heard Oprah say the other day that um she didn't let's see, she had an opportunity to go do theater or something, and the person told her, you don't want to be an actor, you want to be a star. And that's like it, and I think that I I think that was me. Like, I don't know if I really was saying in my I don't know if I was really knowing I want to act. The craft of acting, you know, moves me. I think it was I want to go walk down the red carpet to the Kodak Theater and be in the Oscars.
SPEAKER_00I think that's partially that I think that was my issue as well. Um, because I also was attracted to broadcasting. And and then I also used to see um Greg Kneer do Talk Soup, and he was my favorite talk soup host, and he would make these funny facial expressions every time someone did something silly or stupid or embarrassed themselves. And so I wanted to be a facial expression person. Greg Kinnear. I never knew he was such a talented actor until he started acting, obviously. I just found him very entertaining. And so I was drawn to that. Um, so for a while, I'm pretty sure I wanted to host talk suit. Now, didn't you do comedy as well? Yeah, yeah. I um a lot of oh, I'm sorry. Sometimes when you ask people questions in the moment, they just forget the answer, the real. So stand-up is something that people used to tell me I should do.
SPEAKER_04Oh, really?
SPEAKER_00Just because you were funny and you I would find myself on, say, say one, I remember one time I was uh just doing extra work on the set of a movie called Extreme Measures with Arnold Schwarzenegger and um Vanessa Williams. Um and and um I was standing on the street in Manhattan, and there were this, there was just like this crowd of like extras, and I just started like talking, and everybody's just like standing around me laughing, and I don't think about stand-up or anything, I'm just enjoying making people laugh and stuff. And then a man invited me to perform stand-up at a party, and I was like, I don't do stand-up, I'm just having fun or whatever. But then I did hear it multiple times, and then I I started doing some open mics and stuff in New York. Then I got really full of myself and I started uh dropping my my VHS tape off to comedy clubs, and I started saying, I'm not working for free anymore.
SPEAKER_05Go, you go, girl.
SPEAKER_01But I I I wasn't ready to start making these demands and stuff. It's like I had like a few good comedy sets, huh?
SPEAKER_04It's a fine balance. You gotta have the confidence, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, confidence is everything because it really did take a long time for me to um be aware of any s insecurities. Um, but I think that once that happened, it actually made me a better actress. I'm not suggesting that you go out and get bumped and bruised and abused or anything, but I'm just saying that's kind of what happened because any insecurity that that we're gonna talk about at that time in my life hadn't really come to the surface yet. So in my mind, I was fully confident. The truth is, I was sort of confident from the ankles up, and I was suppressing any insecurity.
SPEAKER_04Ankles up, that's a lot of you though.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And so um, she was like, Hey, have you ever thought like another woman was prettier than you? And I was like, No. And everybody was like, Oh, and I'm like, because I I couldn't put words to this then, but their standard of beauty was not my standard of beauty. Wow. So it's not that I don't think you're pretty, I just don't think about who's prettier, or I don't care about who's prettier because I felt like I was just fine. That's amazing. So that really I I didn't have uh anybody in that class who could understand where I was coming from because I'm sure maybe it's shocking for them because of however they perceive me, you know, however they perceive themselves. Um, but um sometimes stuff like that doesn't lend itself well to a lot of range as an actor. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. So if if I said to you, what do you do for a living right now, would you say actor?
SPEAKER_00I would not. I would not. I have not even uh attempted to even go on an audition in some time, although I'm performing a lot when I'm doing readings and stuff. But yeah, no, I'm I'm a storyteller.
SPEAKER_04A storyteller. And that plays out in multiple ways.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Okay. Oh, I love it. That's really good. It's really good to know about you. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Um my babysitter actually did say that I was a storyteller.
SPEAKER_04Your babysitter when you were young?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Wow. She told it was like myself and her children. She had three, and we're just sitting there, and then she goes, She's a storyteller. And then we're like, why? And she was like, She just is. Because you know, sometimes adults don't want to explain anything. And so yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay, so tell us what that means to you. What does it mean to be a storyteller and why is that meaningful to you?
SPEAKER_00Because she saw some. Okay, okay, so you're you're not gonna make me cry, Oprah.
SPEAKER_04No, I am I am, I am going for that. That will be gold for me. 10 points for Serenity.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_04Show me those tears.
SPEAKER_00So um my nose is already running, so I'm thinking like this string of snot.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I do apologize for that.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so it means something to me. It means a lot to me. I actually um put her in my um thank you list in my book because it did mean something to me, because she saw that in me when I was too young to even know what it was, to understand it. Um, she obviously enjoyed my stories. Um so then when it started happening, I remembered that she said it. And it just felt like she knew me because sometimes, you know, when you have hardworking parents and you are with a babysitter, they know you better than anybody, you know? So she saw that in me. And I guess it just was like foreshadowing or something.
SPEAKER_04Oh, we all need we all need voices like that in our life. So, what does it mean to you to be a storyteller? Like when you say, I'm a storyteller, why do you do that? Why do you want to be one?
SPEAKER_00Honestly, when she said it, I didn't know. Apparently, when you ask me something, it turns into a story. And I love, I love stories too. I mean, there was a season of my life, like I would call you in Serenity, and then you'd be like, okay, so this is what happened, and I'd be, ooh, a story. And I'll just like lean in. I'm like, I want to hear what happened. But make it good though, like Exactly. I was actually, I'm so tired right now. Um, because I was up at midnight finishing part two of my series. Um, I kind of thought it was done, but uh at midnight I realized that I can make the story stronger. So right now, um, yeah, I'm kind of tired. I don't know. Let me see. But I I feel very exhausted. Okay.
SPEAKER_04You've you've brought up the series, so we have to go there. We gotta we gotta talk about Frida. And I am gonna start with Big Feet Girls Unite. I told I I have I I've heard your your shoe size. I heard you tell it on another podcast, actually. I won't tell it.
SPEAKER_00Oh, oh, you did research.
SPEAKER_04I did a little research on you. Okay. And um my I'm I was a solid big feet girl myself. And I would tell my sisters as we'd walk through the shoe aisle, I was like, they don't even make cute shoes for the big feet girls. You can't be a five or a six to be wearing the cute shoes. So tell us the story of the in what brought Frida, the idea for Frida, into your life.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So when I was little, um, my feet were really big and um it started off with little comments like she's gonna be tall.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, and it just took a series over the course of my lifetime to just kind of a series of comments where folks were making comments about my feet. But just like you, I would go to the shoe store, and all of the cute shoes were too tight. And it got to the point where either I was gonna have to wear those old school nursing shoes, you know, they kind of look like those orthopedic shoes and stuff. And I'd be like, so I just my mom would give me a shoe, she'd be like, try that on, and I'm like, you know, putting my foot in it and like it's kind of tight, but then I would just kind of pretend like they didn't hurt, and I would wear those. And then over time, you know, I found myself developing uh corns and calluses and stuff. Yeah. Like I had like Flintstones, like feet. It looked like I was, you know, driving the car with my feet. And then um it got to the point where I was so ashamed of my feet, not so much because they were big, it's because of the damage that I was doing to my feet that was making them calloused and ugly looking. So I felt like my feet were ugly, but I felt like my feet were ugly because I was wearing shoes that were too small because my feet were big because all of the shoes were ugly.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, there's a metaphor in that, people. It wasn't by not embracing what you really had, what by not embracing the feet for what they were.
SPEAKER_00Right, right. It ruined them. Right, right. And so um, whenever a company came over, everybody would be scrambling to clean the house and straighten up and stuff, and I would be scrambling to find my socks because I wanted it to like hide my feet. And I didn't like it was never a thing where if you made fun of me, I cried or anything. Like I didn't really um, I wasn't emotional about it or anything. Um I have this one uncle. I hope he sees this one day. I don't want him to feel bad, but if he does, that would be funny too. Um he he used to stand there and roast me out in the yard in the driveway. He'd be like, oh, you got some boats, oh you got some skis, oh, I bet you can swim. And like my aunts and stuff would be, ah, and I'd just be sitting there. And uh, I think the worst thing about a kid like me is that I had such thick skin that I wasn't even aware that it was affecting me at all. Um, but in retrospect, when I think back on the things that I was doing that indicated that I was becoming insecure, clearly the insults were seeds being planted and affecting me in a way where I felt like I needed to hide.
SPEAKER_04Of course. So let me chicken and egg you. What came first? I would like to write a book for children, and I'm gonna reach for this thing that was true to my life, or you were thinking about this insecurity and thought, I want to tell children about that.
SPEAKER_00Ooh, so do you want like the real answer to that question? Yes, I do. Okay. Um I mean I do, right? Well, I don't know. You mentioned church and stuff. Um, so this is a little like spiritual, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, bring yes, you can bring it.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So um, so when I first like began my relationship with God some time ago, um, I got super serious about it. And then somewhere in there, I started having these images in my head of me working on set with children. Looked like something like big, like big, big, big. And somehow, I don't know, it like it was like a message and I couldn't make the connection or anything, but it was like I'm gonna write children's books. But this was like a c a few decades ago. Um, and so I mentioned it to him, I said, I I feel like God is telling me I'm gonna write children's books. And so I took a moment and I started goofing around with like, you know, just very basic stuff, trying to see, you know, and then I just put it away. And then about 10 or so years ago, my mother said, I would, could you write a children's book for me? And she had this whole idea, and I was like, oh, that's really it. I thought maybe this is the moment because so I helped her write the story, but we never did anything with it. Then in COVID 2020, um, I used to have, I had this friend who we just like killed so much time talking to each other on the phone during COVID. Um, and then one day she, I'm just laying in the bed and she says, Have you ever thought about writing children's books? And I went, Yeah, in fact, I feel like God said I was gonna write children's books all these years ago. And I told her a story about my mother, how that didn't really, I didn't finish do that or whatever. I did finish it, but I didn't do anything with it. And then then I started, she said, Well, a lot of parents are looking for stuff for their children to read, um, since, you know, they're stuck in the house quarantining and everything. And I said, Hmm, if I wrote a children's book, I wonder what it would be about. And so I just started brainstorming and thinking out loud. And then um I said, Well, you know, and I started talking about my feet. And I said I could write a story about a little girl with big feet, and you know, sometimes when I used to kind of feel like my feet were ugly, um, I knew someone who had to have his feet amputated because, you know, of diabetes and stuff like that. And and so I started to appreciate that feet. And so when people made fun of me, I would go, well, at least a halfy, because some people don't have feet. But I didn't, but then I said maybe the name of my book would be at least a half feet. Um, so that was the title until someone said, that's gonna be offensive to the footless community. And I was like, wow. I said, that's not how I mean it, but okay, I'll find another name for the book. And so I wrote the first draft, and it made me feel like I wanted to cry, but in a good way.
SPEAKER_04Um, that's my next question, Kyoko. I heard you talk about this. That describe it for us, that feeling you had when you wrote the first draft. And I want to talk about it because I think. It it's true to my life as well. Um, I when I wrote a memoir, just I wrote the end, you know, from in the first draft, which they all say, your first draft is shitty, whatever. But the first draft and I danced around the house. Like I felt it felt so good. And you had the same experience, right? It's like I did it. I did the thing.
SPEAKER_00I felt like I wanted to cry, but the reason why that was special to me, um, and I think parents should pay attention to this. So when I used to write stories when I was a little girl, um, I used to get this feeling. And if you have kids, you might notice that when they create something and they're proud of it, they get a little look in their eyes, and you can tell that it means something to them. And so I used to, when I would finish something, I would feel like I wanted to cry just a little bit as a little person. And one day I sort of phoned it in. I wrote a story, I didn't try very hard, and I handed it to my mom, and she goes, This is not as good as your other stories. And I said, Why? And she said, I don't know, it just isn't. So she didn't have any sort of feedback except it's not as good, which informed me that she thought everything else before that was good, but she never told me. She only told me when she didn't like it. And so at that point, since I didn't have any feedback, I don't remember like writing creatively that much anymore. Um, only on assignment, like in creative writing class and stuff like that. So when I wrote the first thing for my mom all those years ago, I got that feeling. Oh my god. And then when I wrote the first draft of Frida's Magnificent Feat, which was at least a half feat, I cried. And then every time, like if you were my friend at that time, I was calling all my creative friends, like, okay, listen to this, give me feedback. And then I'd be like, if I start crying, just ignore me. And so I would read it and then I would just start getting choked up and stuff. And sometimes it was, I would be fighting through the reading because I would just, but I knew that meant that it was good because I found I made that connection between as an adult feeling that way, and when I was a child feeling that way. And so the lesson from me was as long as it touches me, it's going to touch someone else.
SPEAKER_04And parents, give your children feedback. Give your children feedback. I think you're so lucky. It's like you have a tell. Oh, that didn't make me cry. I'm moving on from this, but this you did. It's the thing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, this is not good, you know. But but like I was when I was working last night on part two, just like wet faced. You know, I was like, oh my gosh, that it makes me so happy. I I even cried at my uh I read at Athens Clark Library um here in Georgia um a on the 10th, I think it was, if I'm not mistaken. And um when I got to that last page, I was just tears dripping, choked up, and I was like, I I thought it would stop happening by now, but it just keeps happening.
SPEAKER_04So this is what I love about that. I love it so much because it's your own measure and it's internal. Art is this hard work, it's a process, and sometimes it doesn't people don't feel it's validated till it is seen and has external validation, but you have this internal compass saying, I validate it. I have, yeah, I've made a good thing.
SPEAKER_00I feel very confident in my my current book. Um, it's a beautiful thing because as an actress, you know, when you go on those auditions and stuff, you book some, you don't book a lot of them. There's a lot of rejection involved. Um, there's so many highs and lows and stuff, and it can take a toll on a person. You get on stage, you're funny some nights, some nights, you know, the same joke, it's like crickets or whatever. And and so it's like you take a lot of hits, but you're learning a lot at the same time. Um, but let me tell you, the confidence I have in this book is a gift from God for sure. I called this bookstore the other day and I was like following up with them, and I said, Did you um did the owner see my book yet? And she says, No. And she says, um, if the owner's not interested, um, do you want us to send it back to you? Or what I said, she said, wow, I love your confidence. And I was like, it's a beautiful book. It's a beautiful story. I worked very hard on it. I did, I went to great lengths to make sure that it was beautiful and and I love the story. Everyone loves it. I'm not being arrogant. I just I haven't had the experience um just as yet. Someone being meh. I was like, so I'm just I'm not being cocky. I just worked hard enough on it.
SPEAKER_04So tell it tell us the title because I want to talk about the words, the words you have created for this book. So tell start with the title.
SPEAKER_00Read us fabnificent.
SPEAKER_04Fabnificent. Fabnificent, y'all. I love this word, and it's not the only new word that you're bringing into the world in this book. Where does that come from? Did you have you always kind of made up words or I think so.
SPEAKER_00Um, it's a combination of fabulous and magnificent, and I it's in the spirit of Dr. Seuss. Um I I just wanted to do something. But yeah, I definitely um have grown up around, like my stepdad is a funny dude, and he always likes to use big words. And when we were kids, sometimes we'd be like, is that a real word? You know? And so I just thought, like, you know, what if I just sort of like made some words up? So when I couldn't say at least a half feet because I didn't want to offend the footless community, I was like, wait, maybe some alliteration, you know. Um cool. And yeah, so that's kind of I just sat down scribbling, like, what could her name be? So Frida is actually short for freedom. Um, yeah. Cool.
SPEAKER_04Okay, how about another word that I recall? Sad madiculous.
SPEAKER_00Sad madiculous. So just sad and mad and ridiculous.
SPEAKER_04How long have you been, how long has this been a word in your life? Like, did you think of that when you were younger? Like, I am sad mediculous right now.
SPEAKER_00I don't I don't think so. I think I it was a special order word for the book. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay. So this is a good moment to tell you. I'd be holding up your book too, because I think it's beautiful, but I haven't received mine yet. And I kind of bought it wrong. We're gonna tell people how to buy it. I bought it off of Amazon. No! I know. Macaulay Kauking. I know. And it is it's not only not only did I support Amazon, darn me, but um, it's not here yet. So I don't have it yet. And I also wonder, like I have seen you on your Instagram, you're counting the books sold. Does do you count? Did you get that count when I got it off of Amazon? Is that in your count yet?
SPEAKER_00I I didn't even know.
SPEAKER_04So I'm gonna see so tell people how they should really buy it.
SPEAKER_00So go to my website, which is Frida's FabnificentFeet.com.
SPEAKER_04Which I will put in the show notes.
SPEAKER_00Now the one you get is gonna have hot pink, like the color of her shoes. The this one with the the flashy fabnificent, that only can come directly from me.
SPEAKER_04But uh you have to have two then, I guess.
SPEAKER_00Frida's FabnificentFeet.com. So I can put 224 books up there now.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you can. And probably 225, because I gotta have the gold shiny. I'm gonna have to have both. I am going to have to have both. Yes. I have this dream of a library uh down here. I've got two grandkids now.
SPEAKER_00Um, some I'm gonna brand new little grandkids in the world. Now, I thought I was aging myself, but then when you were knowing certain references and stuff, I was starting to wonder. But now that you said that, I'm like, okay, because you don't look like you like a grandmother.
SPEAKER_045-0, Kyoko. What?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm 5-0. Serenity! So serenity. So all that serenity is paying off.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Yay, yeah. Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_04I think it's all the happiness, too. Those grandkids actually, I think, made me younger. So fun. It's so happy. But but I cannot wait to read Frida's Feminiscent Feed to them. And this is what I want to know next. Where is Frida going? It's a series. Yeah, this is part one. Awesome. And okay, let's see. Do you want to talk about, do you want to tell us a bit about the story?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. I I love to tell about the story. So it's about a little girl with really big feet, and she's bullied on her first day at a new school, and she's so sad she wants to buy new feet, but she can't because they're all out of feet at the store that day. So she's having a major meltdown, but then it's revealed that her feet are actually her superpower when she rescues this elderly woman in a runaway wheelchair. Um, by sticking her foot, she kind of like springs into action, and then she lands in front of the wheelchair and puts her foot in front of the chair and brings it to a screeching halt, like something like a doorstop. And then she meets these other kids with big eyes, big ears, big nose, and she helps them to see that their big differences are their superpowers, and they form a superhero team and take their powers to the world. And so that's the big nose baby, and that's the big eye guy, and that's Frida, who is me, and then that's um Big Ear. So that's Echo, that is Scopey, and that is Snifford. And it's so cozy, isn't it like a lovely, cozy little campfire? So where she encourages these kids that their big differences are their superpowers, they form a superhero team, take their powers to the world, and then her parents call a meeting and they tell Frida, we always knew that you were special. We brought you to this town to cultivate your superpowers and to always remember that no one can fill your shoes. And that's the part that always makes me cry. Like when I read it.
SPEAKER_04No one can fill your shoes. Something you knew about yourself, really, your whole life.
SPEAKER_00I I I did feel I'm I'm I'm so glad that I had a lot of people around me always sort of pouring into me in different ways. Because that foot stuff didn't really start making me cry, really, until I started writing a story.
SPEAKER_04So well, one thing I want to say is I think I relate to how many times God had to talk to you. It was the good the babysitter told you, nope, that wasn't enough. Your mama told you that wasn't quite enough. The friend during COVID.
SPEAKER_01I'm so mad at you right now because nobody has caught on to that. What you do?
SPEAKER_04Well, I can relate. I can relate. And I what this is what I want you to do is talk to us about timing. Is this the right time? Is this just the right time for Frida? Do you wish you'd done it sooner? Is it perfect?
SPEAKER_00It's the perfect timing, actually. It's so weird. Um how amazing God is, you know, the the creator of the galaxies and the constellations and all the things, right? So it's like, how else was I gonna make this book without a publisher? When? When was I gonna do this? How, you know, we I didn't have access to the things that I needed to make this happen back when my babysitter, back when my mother, back when, you know, if back when he first told me. I mean, I mean, I always have been a really motivated, driven person. So sure, maybe I could have figured something out. You know, maybe I could have gone to Kingo's and, you know, printed out some pages and stapled them together or something. But I was able to go online and search for illustrators. I was able to find, just make some phone calls and find an author and have her read the book and give me notes and stuff like that. I mean, God told me this before my first cell phone. That's part of why I've been crying so much because sometimes, okay, so when I was growing up, um, I used to, I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, right? And I had these church friends, these people who went to church that were my friends, and their moms would say things like, uh, I don't know if you can go out, I gotta see what God says about it, and stuff like that. And I would be like, I want to hear from God. I did God really say you can't go anywhere tonight, you know? And and so I would be like, I want to hear from God. So there's all these cool things that happen that make me cry because through this journey with this book, it has helped me to see that God had been there the whole time. Like, even in like some of the toughest moments, like there's this one, oh gosh, okay, I I don't want to talk too much. Okay, so you're fine so far. So one time I got fired from this job. I was working as a stand-in on this sitcom that Michael J. Fox was on. So I I was trying too hard to get an acting job on that show, and I didn't really want to be a stand-in, but someone talked me into it. And so I was kind of miserable and stuff. So I think I was just pushing too hard, and um, I this is what I think. This is the story in my head, anyways. Anyways, I went home to Alabama because that was in New York, and I called in to see if I'm supposed to come back to work, and they said yes, but when I got there, I found out I was fired. So then I was really upset because I could have stayed in Alabama to hang out with my family if you would have told me I was fired before I came all the way back to New York. So I'm in the World Trade Center. This is before 9-11. So I'm in the World Trade Center, I'm sitting there with my little boyfriend in this area called the Winter Garden for anybody who knows that place in the World Trade Center. And I'm sitting on the stairs and I'm just crying, crying, crying, crying. And somehow I now need a pen and paper. And I start writing a poem. And the poem said, I would write a line and then I would show it to my boyfriend, and I would cry. And then I would write a line and show it. And it was just like, and it said, um, and if you look on my Instagram, you'll see that I had children reciting the poem to this violin music and um in the background and all this stuff. So it says, What is the matter with wanting something so bad that I can taste it?
SPEAKER_04You're doing it to yourself this time. I didn't do it. But if you don't get this poem out, I'm gonna be very unsatisfied. I need to hear this.
SPEAKER_00Um, God gave us many years of a life and a mind to drink, so why waste it? You can upset me temporarily, even make me cry, but nothing, I mean nothing, will ever stop me from continuing to try. And I will wipe the sweat and tears from my face, and I will keep walking, never slowing my pace, and I will be proud, making my obstacles ashamed because I never feared failure, and losing never made me lame. Right? So I was sitting in the World Trade Center, I'm writing this, and then sometime later, I'm at this Bible study, and these scriptures are being read, and somehow I'm starting to see the scriptures aligning with the poem. And girl, you know those church ladies, those words are too handled church ladies.
SPEAKER_01You know the ones that start dancing in the little in their little heels, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yes, yes, yes. I'm familiar.
SPEAKER_00I couldn't contain myself, and that was like a clue for me that he was there. He was there so the to to bring it full circle, there's a a part in the book where Frida begins to understand who she is, and she kind of whispers to herself, and I will wipe the sweat and tears from my face, and I will keep walking, never slowing my pace. And it I framed it as though these were words that her granddaddy always taught her. Oh my gosh. And so when her father says, always remember that no one can feel your shoes, she's like, Okay, daddy, I'll remember.
SPEAKER_02No one can feel my shoes, no one can feel my shoes, no one can feel my shoes.
SPEAKER_00But um, it makes me cry because um, like I said, I I've had some ups and some downs, and you thinking, oh, like you wanna be an actress and you wanna do stand-up and you wanna, you know, I did commercial print, you know, back in the day, you know, all these different things, and I made some money, but you know, I it was never at the level that I hoped for. But like you said, he already sent my babysitter and my mother, and then my my phone friend, but all that time he was planting seeds and raising me up to be exactly who he called me to be. And so um one of the lessons for me is that all things do work together for the good of those who love God and who are called according to his purpose. Um, that I am magnificently and wonderfully made, and even my big feet can be used for a purpose.
SPEAKER_04Oh, can I please make that the title of this episode? Even my big feet can be used for his purpose. I mean, I'm gonna have to listen to this again to find a good title, but I don't know. I kind of like that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and it made me feel so special because with however many billion people there are on the planet, you know, he he he knew me. You know, I'm not trying to preach on y'all, but I wish he would. But he knew me before the foundations of the earth were formed. He knew me before I was formed in my mother's womb. And so when I felt sad because they fired me, when I felt sad because I didn't book a job, when I felt sad because I wasn't funny that night on stage, none of that stuff mattered to God. He already had a plan for me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
unknownAnd I
SPEAKER_00I just wish that I was tuned into that and not being anxious for anything my whole life. Like that when I went to New York and then moved to California and all those moments in between jobs, I wish that I was never anxious because you know, you know how the Bible says it's not gonna add a day to your life. And so now that I'm at this place where I've written this book, and when I talk to kids, and when I read my story, even when I talk to grown-ups and stuff, I feel so purposeful. And it doesn't matter how much money I have or don't have, I feel the same. I feel in alignment, and I feel like I'm doing what he designed me to do, and it makes me feel it's a it's a feeling that I couldn't get from people laughing at my jokes, or people thinking that I was a good actress, or people thinking that I was pretty or cute or um anything like that. It's like I don't need anyone else to validate me because I know that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing in excellence. Um, and it's a feeling I wouldn't trade for anything else, but I think that I had to go through all of that stuff to appreciate it the way that I do and to not trade it for anything in the world.
SPEAKER_04Do you have advice for someone who's heard who thinks they've heard what's supposed to be, but it's not true yet?
SPEAKER_00Um, well, I would say if I could, if you ask me that same question in a different way, like if you said, what would you go back and tell yourself? Yeah. Uh a lot of times when God tells you something, it does. It can't. Some things happen immediately, and some things take a really long time. I don't remember the details, but I know when when David was anointed as king, when um Samuel came to his little village, he was, I don't think, nobody believed in him. He was out there with the sheep. He wasn't even considered until Samuel heard from God and said, you know, there's somebody's missing here. Go get him. Right now.
SPEAKER_04Somebody missing here.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You know, and so, and then after that, all he he was met with all of this opposition, all of this turbulence. He was being chased and hunted by the current king, right? Saul, yeah, King Saul. He was being chased, hunted, out of jealousy. He was a servant, he was playing the heart for the king. He was uh, he killed Goliath. He, I mean, he fought so many battles in between the moment that he was told that he would be king and the moment that he actually became king. And so when I look at those stories in the Bible, you know, I try to make them personal for me, right? And it helps me kind of um hang on to learn from those lessons and stuff. And now that I've had that experience of um, you know, I I believe that this was what I was told. And then and then it started happening. And I'm telling you, Serenity, I've had moments where I didn't feel creative at all. Like I've said prayers, um, I said, God, please resuscitate me. Just, you know, because I just felt creatively dead. Yeah. I didn't have any ideas. I live in the country. I bought a house in the country. I'm like 45 minutes from the nearest Trader Joe's, you know. I felt, and I still have friends who are at different levels and acting like on tours and doing all these things. And I'm I don't have any ideas and I'm not being creative. And and then one day I'm writing a story that's making me cry. I'm writing a story that if your bookstore says, Do you want me to send your book back if we reject it and I laugh, you know? And that's huge. Yeah. To go from feeling creatively dead to laughing is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. And it's something that really no one can take from you. Um, so I say, whatever God tells you, just keep praying for alignment. Keep staying surrendered, you know, because I tell people your manufacturer knows you better than anyone, right? When you when you your iPhone starts acting up, you call an Apple, or if you want to be, you know, cost efficient, you might call one of those other people that fix you, but you're calling somebody to know something. You know what I mean? And I'm like, he knows who I am, he knows who he called you to be. And so just keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking, and when the time comes, he will deliver, and he can't lie, you know, and he said that you can come boldly before his throne, right? So sometimes I'm like, hey, you said I can come boldly before your throne. You said if I ask, you said if I knock, you said if I seek, that the door would be open to me. You said if I ask for wisdom, you will give it to me. And so you can't lie. So I'm waiting on you to do what you said you would do. And I feel like he gave us permission to do that because he's God, he's the creator of the universe, he's not insecure, he's not afraid of us. Yeah. So we're allowed to be bold. We're allowed to remind our father what he said. And so I think that if I can go back and walk in that type of faith my whole life, God, you tell me this five years ago. I don't understand what's going on here. But now I'm at the place now where I'm like, hey God, I need some encouragement today. And then he'll show up and do something really cool. A lot of times it'll be through a different person. Yeah. So I just say, make your relationship with God so personal and a priority. Don't make whatever you want to do or be uh your God. Because that's good. Yeah. Don't don't make acting your idol or modeling or writing or being a doctor or whatever. Just like seek him and he'll make sure you get to wherever it is that you need to be.
SPEAKER_04That's so good.
SPEAKER_05Pass the collection quite now. What'd you say? What did you say? I said past the collection quite. I know.
SPEAKER_04I've had some church people on this show. I've had some non-church people, but none of the church people brought the church as much as you brought the church. Do you how much time do you have? Would you do a few little just fun questions and then go to our. Okay. So just like how would you answer the question? What do you like to do?
SPEAKER_00What do I like to do? I like to talk. Um, I like to listen to music. Um, I like to dance. I like to play pickleball. Oh, you're on the pickleball trend. Well, I I um just was walking past a park one day, and I was like, what are you what are y'all doing? And then I just then they explained it to me, and then I hadn't even heard of it before, but since then it's like, oh, it's trending. Okay. But yeah.
SPEAKER_05Okay, okay. So you okay.
SPEAKER_04Uh so since you like to talk, what could you talk about over and over all the time?
SPEAKER_00Uh God.
SPEAKER_04That's such a surprise.
SPEAKER_00We have no idea that that's not like a religious thing. It's not.
SPEAKER_04It's personal.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
unknownYeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Um, is there something food? I could talk about food. Are you a cook? You just like to eat. Um well, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I can cook. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I can talk about food, but really only eating. Uh okay. What's something you wish you could fix?
SPEAKER_00Something I wish I could fix. Hmm. Wow. I wish that I could fix the economy. Um, one thing, because I mentioned it before, how when my mother went to work, I would feel sad if I didn't get to see her for long periods of time. And um, it has concerned me that when I say, well, I feel like my babysitter knew me. I feel like my babysitter knew me better than my mom. And so I kind of wish that, and that was not her fault, really. You know what I'm saying? Um, but I really kind of wish that the economy, the cost of living was such that parents didn't have to be, so many parents didn't have to be working so hard that they had to um spend so much. Because I think a lot of times children are getting raised by the friends at school and all of the other places that they are spending time when they're not with their parents. And um I I wish that there was something that I could do about that.
SPEAKER_04That's beautiful. Me too. Uh, definitely. When do you feel most like yourself? Who you are? You kind of said this, maybe, but who you are, what you believe in, what you're doing are all aligned.
SPEAKER_00Um, when do I feel like I'm most myself? Um, I think when I'm with my family, to be honest.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04That's amazing. You're like entertaining is kind of your thing. And yet it's when you're with your family that you feel most yourself. I love that.
SPEAKER_00Did you think I was gonna say when I'm on stage, like accent or something?
SPEAKER_04I I was thinking, I think about this question a lot because I ask it all the time. And the other day I was thinking it's when I re-watch this recording and start to put it together. For some reason, right now, that's kind of when I feel most alive, I would say. Because recording is so fun too, but when I'm viewing it and get putting it together, I don't know. I just feel like, look what I we made a thing together and it's good. I just love it. Yeah, so I love that that question. One more before the last thing. So I'm gonna prep you. The last thing I'm gonna ask is it worked for me. And it's just something that has worked in your life to help you find more meaning, basically. But we'll do that one last. And first, this one. And it's okay if you don't have an answer for this, but I'm just wondering if you work with kids, you talk to kids a lot. Do you have any alternative ideas for what to ask kids instead of what do you want to be when you grow up? Ooh. That might help them, you know?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's a good one. Um, I feel like you should ask, I mean, to the extent that they can understand, you know, in their own little kid language, you know, what what fills your heart up? What makes you feel good, you know? And then yet nurture that. Like, what can I tell a quick story? Yes, please. There was this one time where there was this man and he seemed hungry. And I don't wanna I'm gonna try to edit myself. I I wrote to like the headquarters of this company. I was little. I was like, I was a kid, and but my mother worked at the post office, so I knew how to mail a letter. I probably wrote the letter and uh and gave it to her and let her mail it. But next thing I know, I heard back, and it was like, you know, the the the people on the front lines were like, well, why didn't you tell us, you know, your concern? Because I kind of made them look back. Oh, you know what I mean? Um, um, I got flushed out, and nobody really kind of looked at my heart in that situation that I was concerned about someone who was hungry. I feel like someone should have said, you know what, let's go to a homeless shelter, let's feed some people if that's what you want to do. It was, we were we just talked about protocol and going over people's heads and how folks look and stuff. Um, and I really feel like I could have been a better person faster if that were nurtured. You know what I mean? Like I feel like everybody missed the point. And so I feel like instead of saying, what do you want to be, and saying, oh, you know, because this be a doctor, because that makes money, be a pharmacist, because that what makes you feel good? What do you care about?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then if there's anything at all in terms of a skill set that you can start them with early, so that by the time they're like a young adult, they have a real skill to go with whatever makes them feel passionate, makes them feel purposeful, because that's really what I'm trying to say. Yeah. You know, I don't know if they would quite understand that depending on the age, but ultimately I'm trying to say what makes you feel purposeful, put a skill with that. And then when they get older, ideally they could do something that made them feel really good inside and make money rather than chasing money, which is important, chasing money, but doing something that makes them miserable. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I love it. What fills your heart? Thank you for that. I'm trying to build a list of better questions, you know, better questions that help kids know themselves and start to think about what am I gonna what am I gonna do? But yeah. So I love that. Okay, let's do the last question. It worked for me. Now it could be like an aha moment you had in your life, or you regularly do this to remind yourself who you are and center down and and get meaning from life.
SPEAKER_00I think sitting still, you know, I think I think for a minute I was too busy, and that's the reason why so many people had to say something. Oh my gosh, that's good. Um and once I someone came to tell me that that I was too busy. Um so there was a kid who I used to work with. I used to work with this theater troupe in New York with these young kids in the Bronx, and there was a little guy, and uh he used to have issues at home and stuff, and I would pray with him sometimes after work. And when I stopped that job, my ex-boss told me that he saw the young man in California and he had gotten married and had kids and all this stuff. And I said, Did he ask about me? And he said, No.
SPEAKER_01I was like, he didn't ask about me.
SPEAKER_00I used to play with him after work and he didn't even ask about me. And I was so torn up about it. And then one day I logged into my old Facebook account that I only kept for those kids because I didn't want them to see me talking crazy on my real Facebook. And he had inboxed me. And I don't know if it was like one or two years before I ever saw it. And he said, Hi, Miss Kyoko. I don't know if you remember me. And he says, I'm, let's just say his name is Sammy or whatever. Um, he's like, I'm Sammy from the group that we used to work with, and I'm laughing at him because I'm like, sir, I was very upset that you didn't ask about me. And now you're trying to remind me of who you are. I know who you are. You're the kid who I prayed with who didn't even ask about me. Okay, so I'm so he says, You probably won't understand this. But I was sitting in the park and I feel like God started to show me your life. He said, and he was showing me that you had ups and downs, and sometimes you were kind of just like whatever about life and um acting and stuff. He says, but then God showed me that you started working on a project and that it became a big hit. And then I and I'm I'm really trying to quote him verbatim. Um he said, and then suddenly Jesus just brought the money out of nowhere, and everybody just got behind you. And it really it really struck a a serious chord with me, as I'm sure that you can see. Because how I thought he forgot about me. Oh my god. I thought this kid forgot about me. And then I'm looking at the date, and it's like he sent me that in 2018, and I didn't start I started writing this book in 2020, and I'm just like, oh my god. And I'm like, is it this? Is it is it this what I'm working on right now? So that's why like I I cry so much. Because there's just like amazing moment after amazing moment that I could never have orchestrated on my own. Um, and so it's really just um why am I telling you this? Uh because what worked for you to still so COVID, I wrote this during COVID because there were I was sitting still, right?
SPEAKER_04Sitting still, yes, that's what you were saying.
SPEAKER_00And he said, he said, God has been trying to tell you something, but I don't know. I guess because of the busyness of life and stuff.
SPEAKER_04That's what this kid said, the theater kid?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And I hadn't seen him in over ten years.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00And I was like, I was too busy to hear God, I was too focused, I was too anxious, I was too something else to hear. And so, like you said, which I thought that was so interesting of you to be like, okay, so who, the babysitter, your mom, your your friend, and then this little guy, but by you know, and so I was like, I don't want God to have to keep sending people to I don't mind. Yeah. But I don't wanna ha make 'em have to do it. Like, oh, you couldn't hear me 'cause you were too busy. Yeah. You know. doing stuff or whatever. So it's like now um I'm like such a square. Um I drive around I don't a lot of times I'm not playing any music in the car. I'm just driving and just kind of trying to be available. Like I'm trying to like take my life as like, okay, what am I here to do? What am I supposed to be doing? If if a kid is standing in front of me like, what am I supposed to say to this kid? You know, if you know if anything, what is what can I say? What can I say? I want to be I want to be 80 or 90 years old and some grown man comes up to me and tells me that I read to him in the library when he was eight and it just like stayed with him. Something I said meant something you know to to somebody um so yeah sitting still worked for me and um and and and asking for alignment um and and and surrendering worked for me because a lot of times you know a lot of my choices have been out of um ego um and vanity and um not knowing what was best for me but when I said I don't know this is a mess I don't know I don't what do you want me to do? Um man I'm making all these ugly cry faces and stuff this is not a pretty interview where's my lipstick we can pause and put on the lipstick for the last scene you want to I'm like wait ego vanity oh boy I'm like oh my gosh I should have so anyways um so yeah all of that stuff I think is and and and and it's not that I've mastered it it's working for me oh that's good yeah it's working for me and I just want to uh I don't want to waste another day um of my life out of alignment or being too busy to to do whatever it is that God wants me to do.
SPEAKER_04You know my I hope I wasn't too corny I don't think corny fits you in any way no serenity no one can feel your shoes thank you okay no one can feel your shoes either no one can fill your shoes can I make that the title no one can fill your shoes okay that could be a great title for this episode okay so I'm gonna say goodbye and don't hang up for for even once we stop record don't hang up for just a second but thank you for being here thank you for filling out my guest form and coming to be on this show it was an absolute delight for me.
SPEAKER_00It's such a pleasure to meet you it was great meeting you too and I just oh my gosh I just felt so many emotions and stuff serenity I'm like oh my gosh I'm good I'm not gonna apologize for that okay everyone you've been to church send me a massage envy gift card that's what I owe you for being on the show all right we'll we'll talk oh thank you for being here I'll talk to you later okay bye